The more I hang out with the guys in SLACKER, the more I realize they haven't got a clue. The ONLY thing they can do right is play music. Listen to the "BEER SONG" in the YouTube video below. That song makes me dance. BTW, they start it off with, "swig, swill, drink" instead of one, two, tree. I told 'em to do dat. Know why? They can't count! Idiots, I tell ya.
Hey, if any of you goofy beer brewers want to license SLACKER's Beer Song to promote your lagers, contact me. If not, I'll just have to brew up some swill of my own.
Yeah, dat's right... I can make my own beer right here in the cave. "But Guano, are you MAD?", you ask. Ay listen, dis place is PERFECT for fermenting crap. I trow all my garbage into a series of cave pools down here. Each one develops its own repugnant flavor after a while. All I gotta do is chill it and bottle it, see? It'll be Guano's SLACKER Troll Beer. How 'bout dem apples? Sounds duhlicious, don't it?
Ay! Howzabout my own vintage wine, hmmm? I could fill some empty WWII oil drums that I found down here and let 'em sit where it's dark and dank, which is pretty much anywhere. After it ages for a month or two I'll market it to all you hairless monkeys as a "mighty Cabernet featuring a robusty BOOkay with just a light scent of fish".See? Click on da pitchas for a close-up!
Think about it! I'm a genius! What's wrong wit you people!!?
I must have a case of thess fine beverages to keep in my cave!! My troll friends have been watching your progress Guano and we are impressed!
ReplyDeleteWe would like to book you Guano (forget about those idiots squatting in your cave) we want more GUANO!!!
GUANO the Chief of the Maui Trolls!!
Rat Nevto one of your biggest TROLL fans.
And another thing. Trolls have been pushed around on Maui for years, and on behalf of the Troll society of Maui we are excited that you have "Come out" of the cave as the supreme Troll!
ReplyDeletePlease let us know who handles your Troll Travel arrangements as we have been unable to find proper accomodations outside of our own caves. We noticed photos of you on the Big Island and would like to follow in your Troll Steps.
Rat Nevto